魂の輝き -Spiritual Revival

I was very touched by a e-mail from a very good friend of mine – it inspired to re-think about what I had been going through over the last 10 months - I had gone through one of the most difficult time in my life. Although I seemed to have a "stable job" in a well-known company, a lot of good friends… etc, the problem is - I lost interest in life and I felt I was completely useless!

I guess for guys like me, except the relationship with God, work and relationship are always the most important things in their lives. It really was such a hit on me when I found out my work only requires someone with little experience, and what makes things worse is everyone in my work place was taking it personal and I just couldn't get anywhere with my colleagues here...........

And things didn't get too well on the other side either - during my retreat in Dec I found out the impact of my previous relationships was far greater than I had imagined...... and a few things happened around me which made me totally lost confidence in starting new relationships!

What is worst - at this lowest point of life, I really lost faith in God - I made my choice of work and relationship with a will to put God's work at the first place - I prayed and I followed exactly what God wanted me to do, “WHY should I be ended up like this?”

I just lost my interest and confidence in everything - and I just closed myself from everyone - including God. I hided my feelings from all the people around, I lived my life just to fulfill tasks and expectations, no matter at work, or in my serving such as being the fellowship committee and a Sunday School teacher.

Life like this was certainly a pain....... as I couldn't enjoy any parts of them, and life simply went dried up and got even worse.

For my potential STM trip to Macau, I meant to submit a testimony to the church in Macau in February, sometime before my Hokkaido trip - but I really could not force myself to write anything meaningful - what "testimony" could we expect from such a dried life?!

I really thank God for the Hokkaido trip. It was the first time (over these 10 months) I can get away from my existing environment, I could get way from my work, from my serving and all the troubles in Hong Kong. I could pull myself out from the hole! Although things of course would not be changed, I could shift my focus on other things – there are so many beautiful things – God’s perfect creations! (Advertisement – take a look at the pictures of my Hokkaido Trip!)

A holiday is a holiday – after the 10 days “break”, I had to go back to reality.

Unfortunately, things didn't get any better when I come back to HK - everything was bad as usual - if not worse.

My relationship with my colleagues got worse (as they know I have resigned). At the same time I really could not see my future as I knew I was not in a status for going on a Mission Trip.

I did seriously consider leaving God - for good - I thought, "I had had enough."

Then just when I had made that decision, "Jenny Dao C" called me up to have a meeting to follow up with me for the Macau Mission trip.

In the meeting I got the feeling of she has actually given the consent on her side regarding the trip, and she was in the process of following-up with the church in Macau.

I really didn't want to lie to her on my status - I told her the true status I was in. Her comment was simple - she asked me to pray again to God and that's the only way out.

The week after I had a lunch with Danny, I shared my struggles with him, and he suggested we going for a retreat together - and we went to Shek O during the Easter holiday.

I went to the retreat with a few questions I wanted God to answer me:

1. Why do I have to go through all these because I was willing to wait and not going my own way?

2. If God's real, why do things all turned out like these?

3. If there are lessons to learn, what are the lessons?

I brought with me a book about David - a book I found on the floor (!?) right next to my bed the night before the retreat.
(I bought this book a year ago it meant to be a gift to my brother, but he didn’t take the book as he said he had no interest in Christianity)

Surprisingly – I found the answers to all of my questions in the book!

David was a perfect example of someone who was willing to wait....... and gone through quite a lot of difficult time!

What can I say..............?

God is really good!!!!!!
(...^o^..)b

選ばれた未来

Yesterday I went to Wan Chai 188 to get myself a PSP game. While I was there, I was tempted to get myself a NDS Lite - as the shops were offering "20+ free games" to go with the NDS!

Haha, and of course, those are pirate copies..... all saved in a memory card!

I was so tempted that I did actually go around and check on the price - "unfortunately" all the "deep blue" colour version were sold out, so I decided to wait till a few weeks later.

This morning when I was reading Chapter 9 of the book "Experiencing God", one of the question raised by the author was - "Are you willing to pay a cost for being a Christian?"

I suddenly realised it is God's grace that I "couldn't" get myself an NDS with those pirate games.

Although this is anti-social, I think that is the correct decision....... as I have already "promised" God that once I started working I will not buy any more pirate games! And how would my friends think about Christians?

Take a look of this little story I read a few months ago and you will understand....

Several years ago, a new preacher moved to Houston , Texas . Some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change.

As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, "You'd better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it." Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount. Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss about it. Accept it as a 'gift from God' and keep quiet.

When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, "Here, you gave me too much change."

The driver with a smile replied, "Aren't you the new preacher in town? I have been thinking lately about going to worship somewhere. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday"

When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, "Oh God, I almost sold your Son for a quarter."

Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is a really almost scary example of how much people watch us as Christians and will put us to the test! Always be on guard and remember (as I try to remember) that you carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself "Christian."

(.....^o^.....): Thank you Lord for reminding me!