魂の輝き -Spiritual Revival
I was very touched by a e-mail from a very good friend of mine – it inspired to re-think about what I had been going through over the last 10 months - I had gone through one of the most difficult time in my life. Although I seemed to have a "stable job" in a well-known company, a lot of good friends… etc, the problem is - I lost interest in life and I felt I was completely useless!
I guess for guys like me, except the relationship with God, work and relationship are always the most important things in their lives. It really was such a hit on me when I found out my work only requires someone with little experience, and what makes things worse is everyone in my work place was taking it personal and I just couldn't get anywhere with my colleagues here...........
And things didn't get too well on the other side either - during my retreat in Dec I found out the impact of my previous relationships was far greater than I had imagined...... and a few things happened around me which made me totally lost confidence in starting new relationships!
What is worst - at this lowest point of life, I really lost faith in God - I made my choice of work and relationship with a will to put God's work at the first place - I prayed and I followed exactly what God wanted me to do, “WHY should I be ended up like this?”
I just lost my interest and confidence in everything - and I just closed myself from everyone - including God. I hided my feelings from all the people around, I lived my life just to fulfill tasks and expectations, no matter at work, or in my serving such as being the fellowship committee and a Sunday School teacher.
Life like this was certainly a pain....... as I couldn't enjoy any parts of them, and life simply went dried up and got even worse.
For my potential STM trip to Macau, I meant to submit a testimony to the church in Macau in February, sometime before my Hokkaido trip - but I really could not force myself to write anything meaningful - what "testimony" could we expect from such a dried life?!
I really thank God for the Hokkaido trip. It was the first time (over these 10 months) I can get away from my existing environment, I could get way from my work, from my serving and all the troubles in Hong Kong. I could pull myself out from the hole! Although things of course would not be changed, I could shift my focus on other things – there are so many beautiful things – God’s perfect creations! (Advertisement – take a look at the pictures of my Hokkaido Trip!)
A holiday is a holiday – after the 10 days “break”, I had to go back to reality.
Unfortunately, things didn't get any better when I come back to HK - everything was bad as usual - if not worse.
My relationship with my colleagues got worse (as they know I have resigned). At the same time I really could not see my future as I knew I was not in a status for going on a Mission Trip.
I did seriously consider leaving God - for good - I thought, "I had had enough."
Then just when I had made that decision, "Jenny Dao C" called me up to have a meeting to follow up with me for the Macau Mission trip.
In the meeting I got the feeling of she has actually given the consent on her side regarding the trip, and she was in the process of following-up with the church in Macau.
I really didn't want to lie to her on my status - I told her the true status I was in. Her comment was simple - she asked me to pray again to God and that's the only way out.
The week after I had a lunch with Danny, I shared my struggles with him, and he suggested we going for a retreat together - and we went to Shek O during the Easter holiday.
I went to the retreat with a few questions I wanted God to answer me:
1. Why do I have to go through all these because I was willing to wait and not going my own way?
2. If God's real, why do things all turned out like these?
3. If there are lessons to learn, what are the lessons?
I brought with me a book about David - a book I found on the floor (!?) right next to my bed the night before the retreat.
(I bought this book a year ago it meant to be a gift to my brother, but he didn’t take the book as he said he had no interest in Christianity)
Surprisingly – I found the answers to all of my questions in the book!
David was a perfect example of someone who was willing to wait....... and gone through quite a lot of difficult time!
What can I say..............?
God is really good!!!!!!
(...^o^..)b
I guess for guys like me, except the relationship with God, work and relationship are always the most important things in their lives. It really was such a hit on me when I found out my work only requires someone with little experience, and what makes things worse is everyone in my work place was taking it personal and I just couldn't get anywhere with my colleagues here...........
And things didn't get too well on the other side either - during my retreat in Dec I found out the impact of my previous relationships was far greater than I had imagined...... and a few things happened around me which made me totally lost confidence in starting new relationships!
What is worst - at this lowest point of life, I really lost faith in God - I made my choice of work and relationship with a will to put God's work at the first place - I prayed and I followed exactly what God wanted me to do, “WHY should I be ended up like this?”
I just lost my interest and confidence in everything - and I just closed myself from everyone - including God. I hided my feelings from all the people around, I lived my life just to fulfill tasks and expectations, no matter at work, or in my serving such as being the fellowship committee and a Sunday School teacher.
Life like this was certainly a pain....... as I couldn't enjoy any parts of them, and life simply went dried up and got even worse.
For my potential STM trip to Macau, I meant to submit a testimony to the church in Macau in February, sometime before my Hokkaido trip - but I really could not force myself to write anything meaningful - what "testimony" could we expect from such a dried life?!
I really thank God for the Hokkaido trip. It was the first time (over these 10 months) I can get away from my existing environment, I could get way from my work, from my serving and all the troubles in Hong Kong. I could pull myself out from the hole! Although things of course would not be changed, I could shift my focus on other things – there are so many beautiful things – God’s perfect creations! (Advertisement – take a look at the pictures of my Hokkaido Trip!)
A holiday is a holiday – after the 10 days “break”, I had to go back to reality.
Unfortunately, things didn't get any better when I come back to HK - everything was bad as usual - if not worse.
My relationship with my colleagues got worse (as they know I have resigned). At the same time I really could not see my future as I knew I was not in a status for going on a Mission Trip.
I did seriously consider leaving God - for good - I thought, "I had had enough."
Then just when I had made that decision, "Jenny Dao C" called me up to have a meeting to follow up with me for the Macau Mission trip.
In the meeting I got the feeling of she has actually given the consent on her side regarding the trip, and she was in the process of following-up with the church in Macau.
I really didn't want to lie to her on my status - I told her the true status I was in. Her comment was simple - she asked me to pray again to God and that's the only way out.
The week after I had a lunch with Danny, I shared my struggles with him, and he suggested we going for a retreat together - and we went to Shek O during the Easter holiday.
I went to the retreat with a few questions I wanted God to answer me:
1. Why do I have to go through all these because I was willing to wait and not going my own way?
2. If God's real, why do things all turned out like these?
3. If there are lessons to learn, what are the lessons?
I brought with me a book about David - a book I found on the floor (!?) right next to my bed the night before the retreat.
(I bought this book a year ago it meant to be a gift to my brother, but he didn’t take the book as he said he had no interest in Christianity)
Surprisingly – I found the answers to all of my questions in the book!
David was a perfect example of someone who was willing to wait....... and gone through quite a lot of difficult time!
What can I say..............?
God is really good!!!!!!
(...^o^..)b
posted by サガ (Saga) at 4:10 AM
2 Comments:
Thanks for God, he really know the right timing for everyone!! Also thanks for the Hokkaido trip =P
Your essay make me recall the last sunday services講道, said " even in a difficult time, still need to said 耶和華啊,你是我的神; 耶和華是應當稱頌的, just like what 大衛 did at the past. (somethings like that la~~ =P )
Shelly
Yes - actually I read that message during my retreat the week before the Sunday service!!!!!!! It was shocking when I heard that message!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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